The stairs were many and as we approached the entrance to the ride it took me a minute to catch my breath. Excitement and trembling of the unknown started to take over. Do I really want to do this? What if we crash? What if I fall out? I’m really getting too old for these things.
My son, and daughter proceeded to find their spots, my husband carefully orchestrating where we would sit so he would be the one to go backwards. He is a bit more adventureous than I in these situations. The worker pushed us off the edge and the dark tunnel began to take over and just as we started to head down, the tube turned with me going backwards. Oh great…
All I can tell you is I screamed and screamed as we jerked this way and that. It was completely dark in this tunnel and all I could think of is OH MY GOODNESS AAAH I’m going to fall out and drown. But then we coasted in and the thirty seconds of fear, excitement and unknown was over. My poor daughter I think she had more anxiety from her mother screaming than the ride itself.
A bit shaky and wobbly I climbed out and for some reason I said, “let’s do that again, now I know what to expect”.
How are you? Happy New Year!! Can you believe we have gone around the calendar again? Are you thinking about this next year? Are you making goals, plans?
I am a bit of a reflector. I like to look back over the months as I transfer over birthdays and events to the next calendar. It’s always amazing to see all that went on. 2016 was a year that will always stand out to me. At the beginning of last year I noticed that the word Peace continued to come across my reading or wherever I went and I thought this must be a word that the Lord wants me to hold on to this year.
Starting the year off it seemed to fit as we had a pretty normal calm journey. Made me think of the lazy river we went around and around on in this water park. Yes this is peaceful. I can do this.
As the year went on things started to get bumpy. In a time of prayer the Lord gave me the word WAR and it’s going to get harder. What? Peace? War? This doesn’t make sense.
Well, life did get bumpier as we found out that our foster daughter would be leaving our home and that she had a sibling coming.
I can tell you it felt a bit like the wild tunnel tube ride. The unknown of it all felt heavy. There was fear, there was anxiety, there was excitement. Will the next child be placed with us? Will the other child really leave our home? It was hard to find peace in this storm. It felt like a war in my heart and a war over these girl’s lives.
This time of the year was a hard time for me and I struggled to trust God’s ways. I knew in my heart that He was in control but I didn’t feel it. When the little one we called daughter left our home there was so much anger and hurt, I wanted justice, it was hard to move forward. I learned about grief in a way I hadn’t experienced before.
But then the healing started, a woman gave me some advice on how to work through the pain. As I started to do as she said my heart started to heal and I could feel joy. And then there came peace. A peace that passes all understanding. This word that was given at the beginning of the year. I praise the Lord for this.
As I look to this next year it feels again like I’m getting ready to step inside of that wild tube ride. There are still so many unknowns in our story with these two girls, with a new ministry position, with life. But there is Someone who knows our story, who holds the future, and who directs our steps. Thank you Jesus I can trust in you when life is unknown.
What about you? How are you feeling about this year? Excited? Anxious? Heavy hearted? Peaceful?
Have you considered praying the Lord would give you a word for the year? Last year was my first year trying this and I was amazed at how the word Peace popped up everywhere. Partly because I knew it was a word given to me so I payed more attention to it. This year as I pray and listen to the Lord I sense Him giving me the word Possible. With a journey that looks a bit impossible at times I trust He will do impossible things this year.
“With people this is impossible but with God all things are possible” Mathew 19:26
“For nothing is impossible with God” Luke 1:37
“And Jesus said to him, “If you can? All things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23
“I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted”. Job 42:2
I pray that you too will take time to reflect on this past year and remember what He has done. I pray that you will come to Him with anticipation for a new year.
I want to thank you, my readers for your support and prayers this year. This last year I felt led to start this blog. With a bit of trembling since I’m really not a writer, I miss spell words, and I have run on sentences and I’m sure many other mistakes, I took a step of faith, knowing God could use my step of obedience and our story to encourage others. Please know that I wonder and I think of you the reader often. Please know you can message me with your prayers and I will pray for you.
Thank you again. Happy New Year!!