Lord, Help Me To Be Brave As I Walk this Journey Again.

Hey Friend,

How was your Easter? It was a beautiful day here. My prayer for good weather was answered and I was so thankful. You see we hosted Easter this year and our back yard and patio is much better suited for twenty people verses our home. It would have been a cozy fit inside. My husband would tell me the weather status on his phone and I would say but I asked God for good weather so He can change the wind. Friend, the wind didn’t come until every guest had left. That night I felt like I had been given a special gift from above.

I’m so thankful for those little moments where you can see God’s hand. They give encouragement and faith to know that prayer is powerful. Sometimes we don’t always see our prayer answered so quickly or in a way that we hoped but if we keep our eyes open and our hearts attentive we will see them.

I need those little reminders that God is with us and in to the details of our lives because when hard stuff comes sometimes it’s hard to have attentive eyes to answered prayers.

This past week we found out some hard news again in our journey of fostering. Not hard in that we broke but hard in knowing we would be walking a path similar to our last year.

The weird thing is the same information we received a year ago almost to the day about our former foster daughter, was given to us about our current foster daughter. You need to get prepared to say goodbye. I found it strange to be almost an exact year later.

All I could think was, here we go again walking the same path as a year ago. Lord, help me be brave to walk this again.

Our hearts are different this time through. Maybe because we walked through the hard of saying goodbye and we survived or maybe it’s because we didn’t let our hearts attach as much out of protection, or maybe because we viewed ourselves only as her foster parents.

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy and it doesn’t mean that this will for sure happen. As we have found you really don’t know the path the case will take until you get to court. Our hope is that they will make the best decision for her.

We have had her since she was five days old. I have been praying for her since I knew about her. She was my 911 baby. Every time I saw 9:11 on the clock or 91.1 on the radio I would pray for her. She was even almost born on 9/11. She is a delightful child, always so happy and has the biggest brown eyes that sparkle. What a joy it has been to care for her.

I’m not sure if any of you have walked a path that came around again. I think of those who suffer from cancer. You walk through your first round of cancer and become cancer free and then a couple of years later it reappears and you walk the journey again.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel fair or you wonder why again? I have had those emotions come up, but maybe you learned something through the first battle that changes you for the second.

Maybe the first time you felt like you had to fight and battle through, that you would try and do everything you knew to do, because you felt like you could control some part of the craziness. And then when the battle was over you realized that all of the fighting was more trying to control verses surrendering to the Lord’s plans.

I recently had a conversation with a close friend about this. She knows our story our pain, our prayers. I told her that I don’t know whether to fight this time around or not. She reminded me that maybe this journey is more about “Being Still” and letting God fight for you. What if you just surrendered it to Him.

I’m thankful for this friend. We need sisters in Christ to remind us of some things sometimes. I even purchased this sign at an auction to be my daily reminder.

Are you traveling a familiar road that you have traveled before? Do you find yourself in a different place the second time around?

The road may be familiar but it doesn’t mean that it will be the same. My prayer is that I will surrender and be still,  knowing that the Lord is fighting our battles. This doesn’t mean I will stop praying or advocating what’s best for the child. It may mean that you don’t stop doing things that will help fight your cancer or whatever your journey is. But this time around maybe Being Still is where the Lord wants you to be because He has got this.

Hugs to you,

Alesha

 

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Lord, Help Me To Be Brave As I Walk this Journey Again.

  1. Oh Alesha, this takes me back. Those good-byes are never easy. No matter how many times they come around, they are never easy. The challenge becomes, can we continually pour ourselves out without the assurance of the outcome. But, when others are involved we have to, right? We have to willing to be broken and spilled out…. used up…..yet know God has a plan. Not just for those babies, but for you. I pray for you peace and joy.

  2. Alesha: I feel so blessed to have stumbled upon your thoughts tonight. I am so thankful I did. Your words are beautiful and inspiring and they made me look at a situation quite differently. Thank you and God bless❤

  3. Alesha, my heart goes out to your family, and my prayers will be with you guys. Goodbyes are never easy no matter the situation, you guys are amazing people for what you do and what you continue to do everyday. God’s purpose will shine whether it be tomorrow or the next day or next week, or months from now. Remember God doesn’t give you more than he knows you can handle. I’ll continue to pray for you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *